It's that time of the year and you know's it! SUMMER!!!
It's funny that when we go on holiday we think the unacceptable is so acceptable, why just last Christmas I came back from Jersey with cornrows. (CRINGE!!!)
Anyway, the same goes for Holiday romances. I always end up with the guy who is discovering himself who writes harmonious poetry and plays guitar bare footed on the dock of a bay.THIS IS NOT COOL.. (AT ALL!!!)
I'm gonna now disclose how to steer clear of these LOSERZ - And how to end up with the Titanium Amex-ed hotty in the 5* Deluxe penthouse suite of only like the coolest hotel around..
HERE'S HOW!!!
- Go to a surgeon and get surgery to sort yourself out. <---WICKED!
- Teeth whitening. UH HUH!! (do it!!!)
- Tiffany and co's heart bracelet. (Buy it!!1)
- Blonde hair (Dye it!!)
- D&G bikini (Get one!!1)
- Forget about cat's. Get a small dog and give it an ultra cute name! (Jasper?!?!)
Okay so the 6 special rules have been laid out.
Now you gotta stumble in to the guy of your holiday dreams. - Find out what room he is staying in, and give the maids a little tip of some sort so you can wear their uniform for the entire rest of your stay.
The trick is, to stay in his room 24/7 now and clean for him.
What's not to love about behaviour like this?
BLISSFUL!!!
GOODBYE!
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