Wednesday, 30 March 2011
Tuesday, 29 March 2011
Monday, 28 March 2011
- Go to a Japanese restaurant and buy some sushi, any flavour will do. I opted for the California Roll, because I absolutely love California!
- Grab a plate!
- Tear up the sushi in different sections to write the word "SEX".
- Buy a Red Stripe from the shop and put it on the side of the plate.
- Put on the lingerie and serve it, and yourself on the table.
- How to Goat
- What to do when you get bored (facial hair, not on you)
- Big busts don't = Big win
- Porn works
- You love the size of your boyfriends girth.
- Write a list which goes a little something like this... (I'm only gonna give you a few because i don't want you to copy me..)
- You're really good in bed.
- You have a MASSIVE penis!
- You have an incredible sized girth!
- You're testicles are the perfect size!
- You can cheat on me whenever you want!
Saturday, 26 March 2011
- Get a job in retail. Remember girls, our boyfys are the ones who deserve to have the better jobs, right? To go against this crucial rule would be going against our guys. You gotta make sure that you don't speak to anyone though whilst at work because you'r boyfriend doesn't care about how your day really was. We want to know about HIS DAY!
Friday, 25 March 2011
- Get the app on your boyfriend's phone when he's not looking. Put it in a folder he'll never look at.
- Wait for him to leave yard.
- CHECK HIS EVERY MOVE ON YOUR LAPTOP!
- Keep a diary so you can write down exactly what time and where he was.
- When he get's home, YOU should tell HIM about his day, and question him about each location he was at.
Thursday, 24 March 2011
- "How can I live without you?" - (occasionally follow it with a gentle whisper of "i want to know") - Leanne Rimes
- "And I wish that you could be the one I die with, and I pray that you're the one I build my home with, I hope I love you all my life" - Daniel Bedingfield, If you're not the one
- I've been alone with you inside my mind, and in my dreams i've kissed your lips a thousand times" - Lionell Ritchie, Hello is it me your looking for?
- Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, i'll be watching you." Every Breath you Take - The Police
- "Don't want to close my eyes, dont want to fall asleep, cos i'd miss you babe, and i don't want to miss a thing" I don't want to miss a thing - Aerosmith
Tuesday, 22 March 2011
I've always wanted to know how to mix HOT babes with FASHION, so I hooked up with the Kwerky Fashionista Blog Phenominon LE BERT to find out what totally digs her world when she want's to dig a man. GET A NOTEPAD SISTERS! This one's a keeper.
Hey GIRL! What are you're Top Tips for looking hot for your babe?
- Look as fucked up as possible, consider not eating for a day before you see him - this will make you look easy, but traumatized. Hot.
- Wash your hair day at least one day before your date, the end’s will be clean but the roots will be greasy, which will remind them of sex
- Hold loads of stuff (at least one Starbucks cup, at least one blackberry or 1phone 4, at least 3 bags, maybe a pair of shoes, definitely no food) this will make you look flimsy and feeble. He’ll totally want to rescue you. Modern day sleeping beauty, get me.
Oh I sure get you! And what do you recommend on cooking for you're boo when he's new?
When you first have your new man over for dinner remember to make something boozy. Hopefully if your dating the right guy he should cook for you but if you're unfortunate or ugly I would plump for coq au vin – no explanation needed.
No explanation indeed, saucy! So tell me... how would YOU persuade YOUR boyf to start dressing well?
Unfortunately there’s only one answer to this: it starts in over and ends in draft. To get your man looking sharp you need to smack the plastic, hit the shops and give him some impromptu presents. If he asks why, say he gives amazing head. He’ll never leave you.
I'll take that on board girl! What I really want to know is, what would you do if you started to get bored of your bf?
I presume you mean on him?! Us babes always get stuck when it comes to these three letters, 'S', 'M', 'S'. Any SMS tips?
When SMS-ing a potential bf remember this, boys only care about three things, funny, sex and cool. Work at least two of these things into each text and he’ll be poking you on fb and inviting you out to the Alibi after no time at all.
(NB, Alibi, or any other hotspot about town)
Any suggestions on what to wear when meeting the parents? (See, Meet the Parents)
Wear leggings, dad will appreciate it and mum wont think you’re a slut. They’ll probably think you’re a drama student though so make sure you tell them you’re not.
Being in one a long dist yourself, you must have some good words of advice on ways to make it work, how should we survive a long distance relationship?
Good question. Get used to passive aggressive emails popping in to your inbox every morning. No, its not that bad.. Think of all the air miles. I’ve got a frequent flyer card, jealous?
Thanks Bertie! And finally, give me 5 words which are best applicable when trying to be GF of the year.
Not psycho, not bitchy, not jealous, not fashion-forward, not yourself.
Monday, 21 March 2011
Get to know what porn your BF loves and then re-inact each and every scene and fantasy! A good website to know is www.redtube.com and www.pornhub.com, they have a large array of categories to choose from. Lush! I also recommend maybe buying the sun for a few weeks so you get in to the mind of your beau. Remember though girls! Big tits don't always mean Big WIN! You don't wanna come across too busty because then it will make you're man say to his friends "Hey guys! my girls a slut, wanna ride on the
#1. No more blackmailing. Unless its completely emotional. Then that's fine.
#2. Stop reading 'Cosmo', and start reading 'Real Life' or 'Love It'. Cosmo manages to make us feel powerful in wrong ways. If you read 'Real Life' it enables you to get in the mind of REAL WOMEN who have the power to write life changing stories, and if those women can write with power, they can sure be GFS of the Year.
#3. Go to a Beauty Salon and get a Brazilian. Even better, get a Hollywood. Having one of the two suggests to your Boyf that you are a child. They will then think they have complete power. Little do they know that it's actually you in the power because you decided to get the wax job in the first place. Works a charm.
#4. Get UGG boots so that then your boyfriend can get you to stop wearing them. When you stop wearing them they will exclaim to their lads, "My girls the best. She had some buttz UGG boots and then i asked her to stop wearing them, and the bitch did exactly that!" They'll fall at your feet. Literally.
#5. Similar to the last one. Pretend your a vegetarian for the first few months. If he takes you on a date, order the tof-acon carbonara, or the tof-eggs benedict (eggs florentine) but stash some porkrinds in your jacket pocket and have a few toilet breaks. Then after a few months suprise him with a home cooked Pig Roast, and tell him for him you'd do anything. Doing something like this will make him exclaim to his brothers "My girls the BOMB! she used to not eat meat now she's all over it!" He will also see your sudden meat eating fetish to something similar to giving great Blow j's so in fact it's a win win.
Finally #6. Don't take anything to heart. If he hates your mum, so do you. If he doesn't like your voice, don't speak, and most importantly, if he doesn't like your friends, get some new ones.
Peace out. <3 GFOTY