SHOPKEEPER.

Chatting up a shop keeper? Trick is, BE SUBTLE. In 11 words which have two syllables or less I'm about to share with you the gold dust which gave me the key to every shop keepers heart. (AWWW!!!) (Here's one I took earlier!)

Here we go!... You're in a shop, you're buying some womanly dispensables and you're running low on 20p. You wallow a bit, and lovely Mr Shopkeeper man says "It's okay love, take it" You wallow a bit more (but this time wallowing of joy) and then loudly reply, "SWEETHEART! IF I WASN'T PREGNANT... AND YOU WERE TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER.." You then walk away, briskly. He'll be slightly astonished and taken back by the comment. The pregnant comment will give the impression you're a baby making genius, <<--- SWELL! He will then swiftly chase after you. Before you know it, Bing Bang Boom! You've got his MSN address, and maybe even his Bebo!

WHAT A COOL IDEA!

XoXGFOTYXoX

YAWN

OH MY GOD.

I REALLY SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT LAST ESPRESSO SHOT!!!

MY LIFE IS IN CAPITALS!!!

MY NIGHT WAS SOOOO COOL LAST NIGHT!

I've never been to such a cool place! The people were all so trendy, and the bands were so funky! THE BEST THING ABOUT IT? MEN MEN MEN!!!!! Oh my god! It was just so cool!!!

Now i've got the swing of how they work, I'm gonna start going to gigs way more often... So anyway, in ode to gigging, I'm gonna give you some fanatical facts for what to wear to a gig.

A bowler hat - not too big because you don't wanna look like a complete dick (i mean come on!! err hello!!!)

Walk around with a guitar on your back at ALL times - This is because you can blend in and make boyfriends!

Opt for sensible yet chic shoes - Converses in pink or purple obvies!!!

Wear a dress - Floral patterns please girls! But make sure it's not TOO short because when your moshing out you don't want your bikini line on show!!!

HAVE A GOOD DAY PLEASE. MWAHHHHH!!!! xx GFOTY xx