Why just last week, I had 2 guys on the go.. I will call one Jarvis, and I will call the other one Colin (For law suit purpouses..) Anyway, I was walking down the road with Jarvis one day in LONDON TOWN!N!N!N! And through the window of a taxi I could see Colin sitting through the clear clean glass drinking a cup of hot coffee..
This got me going.
So.. Jarvis had obvs not met Colin (because obviously I'd be single if that happened) But he saw the way I was looking at Colin and asked me why i was eyeing him up from a far..
I didn't know what to say..
It hit me that all I need to say is that I like the taste of coffee and I wanted a Starbucks..
In that instance, Jarvez whisked me off my feet and in to the nearest Starbucks where he bought me a LARGE BLACK AMERICANO.
This is where I unfortunately happened to bump in to a Large Black American man who happened to be Colin.
SO WHAT HAPPENED NEXT??
I panicked and soiled myself all over the Starbucks floor, and tried to run for the bathroom but happened to slip into my own Soil.
NEITHER JARVIS OR COLIN DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
I was a dumped women... :---(
THEN!!! GOD HAVE MERCY!!! GOD DID HAVE MERCY!!!
A lady with a nice <3heart<3 picked me up and took me to one side, held my hand and we tenderly walked off in to the distance. She told me a Nunnery was waiting my way, and that lots of good feelings happen there.
I smiled, thinking about the feeling of being in a safe, lovely, women run brothel..
A little birdy once told me that a mans car size is relevant to the size of his massive (or not so, oi oi wheyyy!!!) PEN15.. I tested the roads and drank the water and have concluded the below statements and facts.
THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY WOMEN! THIS IS HOW TO TELL WHOSE REALLY GOT MOXY ON THE STREETS.
Guy 1: TAKE A RIDE IN MY FORD AND ILL CUT THE UMBILICAL CORD
A safe, friendly, choice to opt for when picking a guy with a good sized PEN15, It's clear that he's not worrying about the size of that thing so he's playing it cool, calm and collected on road so that when he does meet one of us fine specimens, we'll be in for the ride of our LIVE'S GURLSGURLSGURLS!!!!!!! He's holding his gear stick firmly meaning he knows how to control us if we get out of hand, and he's got a clear sense of direction because he's using NO navigation system ( you get me??!?1 ooohhh sassy!)
PEN15 RANKING: 3.5 inches wide, 9.5 inches long. Not too big . Not too SMALL.. A perfect paradox of smoothness and roughness and a night of paradise and well being. (I CAN BUT ONLY DREAM :-((((( )))
Guy 2: THE GEE WHIZZ EXTRAORDINAIRE.
This guy's got STEEZE and he knows how to show us! He doesnt need a flash car to show off the size of his whopper, anyway, we can see by his 'come to bed' eyes that he aint taking none of us for a slow and easy ride.
Guy 3: THE HUMMER HUMDINGER (ooohhohoh!!!11 YEAH!!!1!1!1)
This guys hot, horny, and an ALL OVER ---> HUNK. HOWEVER, he's hiding his heaving little hefty PEN15 behind his RiDe. First things first.. His tyre's flat.. So how's he even gonna drive this TING?!? A tricky situation I believe! A wise man once told me, if you gotta a big car, you got something to hide, and with that in mind please read below for the.......
PEN15 RANKING OF A LIFE TIME: # : :! ---> 2 inches wide and 5 inches long
<3 <3 <3
FINALLY!! MY PERFECT GUY ON ROAD.. THIS IS MY GUY. THE ULTIMATE GUY FOR ALL GUYS.
(I reckon he's hiding a little more then a PEN15 disaster.. dead body? dead mouse? SATAN PERHAPS?!?!?!?! ) (Scaryyy!!! *shudders*)
THERE'S TOO MANY WAY'S TO CONTROL YOUR MAN LADIES!!! Today I will share three of those ways.
WAY 1: Watch a sad movie with him.. Then when something bad happens, burst in to fits of tears and tell him it reminds you of the time you lost your g-string on the tube so had to walk home with no panties on underneath your miniature leather skirt.
WAY 2: Tell him he's allowed to cheat on you. Then when he does, burst in to fits of tears and tell him it reminds you of the time you lost your g-string on the tube so had to walk home with no panties on underneath your miniature leather skirt.
WAY 3: Look through all the stuff in his room and throw out everything you don't approve of. Then if he happens to get angry at you ( MEAN :-( ) , burst in to fits of tears and tell him it reminds you of the time you lost your g-string on the tube so had to walk home with no panties on underneath your miniature leather skirt.
It's my bday party tonight and i'm going in HARD, (that's what she said teeeheeheee!!!)
So basically. I 've invited 107 special people, who happen to funnily enough be all the guys i slept with and one girl (cringe! OMG I WAS LIKE 14 AND EXPERIMENT(al)ING) It's a weird coincidence TB-perfectly-H with you but i think the situation will go down quite well and cool..
I'M SO EXCITED. I'VE MADE A CAKE UT OF ALL THEIR SEPARATE SEMEN!
I went to the zoo yesterday and was heavily influenced by the way some of the monkeys picked fleas off of there significant others tails..
But it made me think.... Maybe there really is no true love out there for humans like me.. I mean yeah sure i'll delve in to my honeys nose for new exciting germs which maybe later on in life I can breed, and most definitely I would (for sure) go in to his rubbish, whilst searching for cheating evidence, perhaps find the odd tissue which i will keep in my purse for when i get lonley (and h0rny oioi wheeyy!!) but I simply would not do that of the Golden-Tailed Monkey and brush away the many lice from my guys tail..
Is that bad?
Tip of the day: Don't go to the zoo if you have deep heart felt emotions with animals.
MET UP WIV LE BERT TO TALK ABOUT GUYS. SHE'S SO FASHIONABLE. IF YOU WANT TO MEET FASHIONY GUYS I RECOMMEND WATCHING THIS USEFUL VIDEO OF USEFUL INTERESTING ADVICE ON HOW TO BAG ONE.. (BAG ONE.. SEE WHAT I DID THERE!!!)