Thursday, 30 June 2011

DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH MY LAST POST VIDEO

BUT YOU GET THE JIST RIGHT?

NEWS!!! FOR NXT WK!!!

video

What more could you arkse for?!?! My cat does the moonwalk and i want some comments. Im gonna get you the hottest working men around ladygirls!

xxxgfotyxxx

#42 of #47 guy related bits of cool advice

If you can't get a babe to commit, tell him you're going to cut your wrists with a Swiss Army Knife if he doesn't.

If he doesn't commit after that, he's a real meanie :-(

>;'-{) GFOTY (}-';<


THE ABOVE SMILEY FACES HAVE POINTY EYEBROWS, ARE WINKING THEIR EYES, ARE CRYING TEARS, HAVE MOUSTACHES ANNNND ARE SMILING.. HOW CUTE IS THAT!!!

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

♥my life was created in to a game♥

I was alerted with this today, and although it hasn't been made FOR me, I found it very apt to how my bedroom manners work. It's really adorable and sweet and it's just how I want all my romances to work. SOBBING HARD RIGHT NOW. awwww!!!

THX GOD

READ HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!CLICKONTHISLONGWORD!





Tuesday, 28 June 2011

MAN.AND.WIFE

I'm currently writing a feature for THIS SIGHT HERE!!! And I'm feeling a bit low spirited. I mean, yeah, I'm a great GF and all and I mean, I tick all the right boxes, but when it comes to marriage I panic because I have absolutely not the faintest clue in the world about what I'm gonna do on our first night in the bedroom together!

I can get down and dirty and all, but I wanna do something which is gonna be really special. Like I thought some roll-play where we would reverse parts so I'd be the husband and my husband would be the wife.

Then I thought casual B-j's but instead of using my mouth id use a slippery pot or plastic cup and blind fold him and then when all his stuff has come out of his thing id feel it to him in the slippery cup..

Could be kinda fun...

I'm just feeling kinda down about it TBH..

:--------------( GFOTY )---------------:

SO CONTENT ♥

It's been one of those weeks where there's no one really around to keep me warm at night, so instead I've been busy away on the Youtube looking for people I can set my eyes on.. I was in the middle of doing my bikini line for like the 5th time this week (Cringe, but I'm Mediterranean blooded!1) and I stumbled upon this!



Anyway, I thought it was ultra cool/kwerks so I managed to find an email address in order to send one of of them a picture of my bikini...



I never got a reply :-(

So I emailed again and think I might have got a date out of them!

I'm gonna dress low key but i'm gonna learn loads about music this week, so just keep checking for updates about my d8.

Best of loving.

xx GFOTY xx


Saturday, 25 June 2011

SEVEN!

WAYS TO GET TO SEVENTH BASE!!!

  1. Ask!!!
  2. Don't resist when a guy is pushing your head down for shiners.
  3. Take your clothes off when he's not looking
  4. Take his clothe's on when your not looking
  5. Tell him your a slut
  6. Side alleys are your friend
  7. THE YOUNGER THE BETTER

Sunday, 19 June 2011

SEXTING=ARRESTING???

Happy Sunday darlings!

So I was reading my fav teen mag yesterday when the bar was really raised... Sexting - Can it get you arrested? To put it bluntly NO! Unless if "arrested" means, arrested in the district of <3love<3, then we most deffs can (SWEET huh!!! ???) Well not if you do it like I do.. You gotta be subtle when sending a sexy text to a sexy lad. I know how, do you know how? Here's how!!!

  • DONT DO THIS. WAY TO SUBTLE. This alone could get you dumped, firstly there aint enough cleavage, major dilemma!!! Take your bra off and push both your arms in towards your chest to give girl a natural cleave.


  • What the devil does this mean? Three words girls, WRONG WRONG WRONG. " "ICTIC" or else I'd want you to Fuck me like the witch/woman I am baby..." Your hot hunk is gonna get so confused by this, like totally! I'd opt for something more along the lines of my next tip, from my own phone to my own boyfriend!!!


  • This is so adorable!!! I sent it to my honey last year, WE LIKE TO USE EMOTICONS TO SHOW OUR ETERNAL LOVE BLOSSOM FOR EACH OTHER <3<3<3 The best thing about using funky pictures is that if a police constable was to see it and wanted to take you to court, you could make up any old story about what it really means and you'll be off the hook in no time!!!
Maybe something like..

Me: "You thinking what i'm thinking? Smiling at something good, or happily laughing at my new waterproof lipstick??"

My boyfy: Both!!! SHUCKS!!!

My boyfy (again): You should happily laugh and make your self cry

Me: So you want me to buy my lipstick all over your Tuesdays?

My boyf: Yes my love

AND THERE WE HAVE IT!!!

A safe and funky way of sending wonderful words and pictures to the guy of yours and my dreams.

xxx Love from me <- GFOTY xxx Sexscribe!!!



Tuesday, 14 June 2011

HOLIDAY ROMANCE

LADAYZ!

It's that time of the year and you know's it! SUMMER!!!

It's funny that when we go on holiday we think the unacceptable is so acceptable, why just last Christmas I came back from Jersey with cornrows. (CRINGE!!!)

Anyway, the same goes for Holiday romances. I always end up with the guy who is discovering himself who writes harmonious poetry and plays guitar bare footed on the dock of a bay.

THIS IS NOT COOL.. (AT ALL!!!)

I'm gonna now disclose how to steer clear of these LOSERZ - And how to end up with the Titanium Amex-ed hotty in the 5* Deluxe penthouse suite of only like the coolest hotel around..

HERE'S HOW!!!

  1. Go to a surgeon and get surgery to sort yourself out. <---WICKED!
  2. Teeth whitening. UH HUH!! (do it!!!)
  3. Tiffany and co's heart bracelet. (Buy it!!1)
  4. Blonde hair (Dye it!!)
  5. D&G bikini (Get one!!1)
  6. Forget about cat's. Get a small dog and give it an ultra cute name! (Jasper?!?!)
Okay so the 6 special rules have been laid out.

Now you gotta stumble in to the guy of your holiday dreams. - Find out what room he is staying in, and give the maids a little tip of some sort so you can wear their uniform for the entire rest of your stay.

The trick is, to stay in his room 24/7 now and clean for him.

What's not to love about behaviour like this?

BLISSFUL!!!

GOODBYE!



Sunday, 12 June 2011

LARGEGUYSLIKE

CAKE!
Win your ultimate man over by whizzing up a delish cake!

When he comes round hide it under his side of the bed so he'll have a lovely suprise.

THEN! When he discovers it, quickly grab it and eat it all up.

He'll be really jealous so he will get that cake out of you in whatever way is humanly possible..

Chances are it will be incredibly romantic.

BREAKALEG! CAKEALEG.

Thursday, 9 June 2011

ALBUM

Hey darling girls!

Hope it's been a really cool week for all of you, no matter what age or city! <3 (awwwww!!!)

I'm gonna be working really hard in the GFOTY recording studio tomorrow to make my debut album so now you can subliminally take in all the goss and guy help you need whilst you're sleeping now. Cool huh? -

Anyway, I thought it would be a cool idea to give you some tips for writing music. Make you guys a little aspiration board of some kind to help you along your route to multi-platinum success.

Steps:

1. There's this cool bloke named Eminem/Marshall.M and he raps about really controversial stuff!! Some people find him a bit upsetting but he's edgy and that's what makes him special! - Try looking up some of his lyrics and basing your lyrics on his..

Try something like one I made earlier "I wanna kill a guy - before he kills me - and then preserve his dick in a conservatory" !!! Kinda wicked lyrics!!!


2. Adapt a new style!!!

Lady Sov is a great stylista to go and emulate. Her sweet and sassy style puts a softer edge towards your new Rap career. Side pony tails give the effect of a happy galloping pony (and we know what that mean's don't we gurls?!) BOYS LOVE HORSES.


3. WEED. Invest in some! learn how to roll up wicked massive weed cigarettes and smoke them till they're dry! This will finish off your new rap persona and will make people realise just WHO YOU ARE ( you're you girls, and never forget that<3<3<3 ) The wicked think about mari-j is that it gives you a really wicked stance about yourself, and lyrics will naturally come to your head. Guy's will think "Corrr! This hoe knows. She's so sick. I wanna rap with her."
These three simple steps should all put you on the path to the new and classier YOU. If you wanna try these steps backwards there's a whole different out come! More of a UK hiphop vibe.

!WKD!

x GFOTY x

Look out for my album to come!

MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHH


Tuesday, 7 June 2011

GOING DOWN

USING STEAK!

I'm a fan of rubbing it all over my body and then sunbathing in the sun so it gives the effect that in fact I am the steak. Here's how!

1. Rub Garlic all over yourself.
2. Don't forget the Dijon Mustard!
3. Spray some extra virgin olive oil
4. Mix the steak in a food processor
5. Rub the steak all over yourself
6. Go to a hot country
7. Lie in the sun for 1 minute on your front
8. Then one minute on your back
9. Keep alternating sides! - For 5 minutes!
Hey presto!

You are gonna get eaten out gurl!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxGFOTYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thursday, 2 June 2011

ATTRACTING PSYCHOS

BECAUSE THEY'RE SO EXCITING! HERE'S HOW TO GO ABOUT IT!!!

  • WRITE STATUS UPDATES WITH DURTY CONNOTATIONS!
  • GO TO FUNFAIRS DRESSED LIKE A SLUT!
  • MEET PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK!
  • MEET PEOPLE ON MYSPACE!
  • WEAR A STRIPPER COAT OUTSIDE A TITTY BAR!
  • SELL YOURSELF ON EBAY!
  • PRETEND TO BE 13 ON YAHOO CHAT!
  • GO TO THE COUNTRYSIDE LATE AT NIGHT AND STRIP DOWN TO YOUR BDAY SUIT!
  • GET A TIT JOB!
  • SLIT YOUR WRISTS!
  • LOOK VULNERABLE AT BUS STOPS!
  • HANG OUT IN PECKHAM!
  • SET YOUR SKYPE SETTINGS TO 'SKYPE ME'!
  • HIDE IN BUSHES WITH A STRAP ON, ON
  • PRETEND YOU'RE FOREIGN (THIS IS MY FAV ADVICE Y'ALL.. GUY'S WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU COS THEY'LL THINK YOU'RE OBLIVIOUS TO LIFE!!) !!!
PROMISE YOU'LL GET A MAN FROM THIS. BUT DO NOT, DO NOT, DOO NOTTTT COME ACROSS DESPARATE.

GOODBYE LOVE YOU MWAH

X GURLFRIENDOFTHEYEAR X

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

OHMYGODRLLY?

NO WAY!!! ------>> THERES A WAY TO FOLLOW THINGS! ---->>>> ON THE LEFT(OH WAIT RIGHT) . RLLY? OH GOD. THERE IS!

SHOPKEEPER.

Chatting up a shop keeper? Trick is, BE SUBTLE. In 11 words which have two syllables or less I'm about to share with you the gold dust which gave me the key to every shop keepers heart. (AWWW!!!) (Here's one I took earlier!)


Here we go!... You're in a shop, you're buying some womanly dispensables and you're running low on 20p. You wallow a bit, and lovely Mr Shopkeeper man says "It's okay love, take it" You wallow a bit more (but this time wallowing of joy) and then loudly reply, "SWEETHEART! IF I WASN'T PREGNANT... AND YOU WERE TWENTY YEARS YOUNGER.." You then walk away, briskly. He'll be slightly astonished and taken back by the comment. The pregnant comment will give the impression you're a baby making genius, <<--- SWELL! He will then swiftly chase after you. Before you know it, Bing Bang Boom! You've got his MSN address, and maybe even his Bebo!

WHAT A COOL IDEA!

XoXGFOTYXoX